What I love about waking up in the morning in Australia, is how the picture perfect scene I wake up to everyday seems to depict everything I ever dreamed how my life will take place in the future. The majestic palm tree in backyard garden towers other plants around it to greet me every morning as I slide open the curtain, and the bright pink flowers flutter slightly, and rhythmically to the cold winter breeze, as if smiling at the sight of me. I love the way I could walk down the stairs and greet the vast international citizens living in my home who are sometimes occupied with their amazing works; a future and innovations consultant, an architect, an industrial biotechnologist, a financial accountant, a human resource management student, and myself a self-proclaimed environmentalist - all under one roof. Making breakfast in the kitchen is my all-time favorite; it could be a quick boil of the oat porridge which I’ve come to like with a splash of milk and a dollop of honey, or it could be a hearty omelet sprinkled with mushrooms and tomato, or in my sweet-tooth days, I would be shaking up my pancake with sauteed banana and the scrumptious maple syrup. All taken with a glass of breakfast juice, and slowly ended with a quick bite of a banana and a mug of coffee upstairs while I am finishing my works and readings. It’s the perfect beginning to a projected perfect day. My life is as close as it could get to the life of Isabel Dalhousie, where she finishes her editorial work in the morning, walks through her neigbourhood in the afternoon to see her niece or whoever new acquaintance she has made (walking to the university, in my case), and returns to a quick dinner and drink in her home in the evening in the company of her close friends and family.
A rather solitary life of reading and writing in its essence, but filled with a mosaic of varying social life on the outside. The kind of life I love, and always enjoy.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
18 things to do in Australia
The best thing I find about making up lists for myself is the freedom and opportunities to dream big, wonderful and beautiful dreams. Life is about what's immediate, and what we can do with the present.
Nearly 25 years of living, I've beginning to learn about taking up a journey with God in mind, and I didn't really mean it in the religious sense of doing things in the parable of His words. What I meant is charting my own course with a free spirit in mind, knowing at best if anything happens - God alone judges me whether I've made my race or not.
After Lanchang, the first time I discovered the beauty of unlayering God's mysterious works in my decision - Australia is my journey to find where I stand before God, my country, and two people who conceived me. A journey to break free, a journey to let go of the pain which binds me to the past, a journey to discover what's real and beautiful in the world. In doing so, I hope the following 18 things help me:
Nearly 25 years of living, I've beginning to learn about taking up a journey with God in mind, and I didn't really mean it in the religious sense of doing things in the parable of His words. What I meant is charting my own course with a free spirit in mind, knowing at best if anything happens - God alone judges me whether I've made my race or not.
After Lanchang, the first time I discovered the beauty of unlayering God's mysterious works in my decision - Australia is my journey to find where I stand before God, my country, and two people who conceived me. A journey to break free, a journey to let go of the pain which binds me to the past, a journey to discover what's real and beautiful in the world. In doing so, I hope the following 18 things help me:
- Swim in the Australian ocean
- Climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge
- Volunteer with the locals. I guest blogged at the Live Futures 2020 last year, which was an awesome experience of getting to know magnificent people working as futurists. I was also introduced to the World Future Society, which I plan to become a member of once I started earning. I've also volunteered for the Australian Youth Climate Coalition by calling 80 people to get them registered for Power Shift. The highlight of the call? One guy had his answering machine answered the phone because he was in Pakistan. Magnifique, magnifique people.
- Attend a concert in Sydney Opera House. In the first and the only concert I attended so far, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova's performance grew to become a spiritual experience for me. Having watched the movie ONCE when I was in Malaysia, and loved it entirely - the concert gave a real finishing touch to my experience. To me, it signifies how magic is real and how magic is something we all can find within us. I made it real, I made it happen before my very eyes, and it was Glen and Marketa who did it for me.
- Visit Australian cities. Apart from Sydney, I made it to Canberra and Melbourne. Although the trip is short, I am content to find I've covered the essentials for both cities. The itinerary for 48-hour trip in Canberra was immensely useful, and the presence of merry companies in Melbourne made the trip memorable.
- Camp in the bush. Firstly, we camped at the Basin in the Kuringai Chase National Park, which was inherently natural. The beach was secluded and amazingly picturesque, we bushwalked to trace the Indigenous arts etched on the rocks, and it was freezing. Then I went camping by the beach with a family friend. It was revolutionary as I get to ride a bike along the coastline and get along with local communities. Finally, we camped at the Cockatoo Island, which was entirely a novelty. Imagine setting up the tent by the water facing the Sydney skyline? It was wicked.
- Explore Sydney like a local.
- Take the Great Ocean Road Tour
- Complete the Classic Bush Walks around Sydney and New South Wales
- Row in a boat
- Experience local customs. Australian BBQ? Check. Australian pub? Check. Australian movie? Check. Australian horse race? Check. Australian church? Check. Australian camping? Check. What else?
- Learn many new things
- Take the overland trip. I traveled to Canberra and Melbourne by bus and train, even though I had to cringe with determination when I watched my money flew. Apparently, it's a lot cheaper to go anywhere in Australia by flight. Nevertheless, it was an awesome experience. In addition to saving myself from the guilt of piling my carbon emissions, the overland trip was an irreplaceable joy. Stopping by at the local bus and train stations, eating sandwich and coffee alongside the elderly and rejoicing in their admiration of my differences are definitely something I don't mind repeating again.
- Eat local and home-made foods. I think a large part of what is going to remind me of Sydney is the amount of time I spent with friends cooking, eating and sharing our stories together in our homes. The food was nothing extravagant, sometimes they are simply a concoction of whatever we can find in our fridge. But sitting together, feeling safe and secure and grateful for the roof over our head, the food on the table, and the warm companies is something we enjoy beyond relief.
- Find myself a kindred spirit
- Watch a footy game
- Buy an opal. I wanted something simple for myself which I've never had. Seeing as opal is my birth stone, and I've never bought myself a jewelery even when I was able to afford one, I thought an opal ring is befitting as the souvenir for myself when I visited Melbourne. It was also a mark of myself embracing my womanhood.
- Do something unique which reminds me of Sydney
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The departure
The day has finally arrived! Although it’s understandably imaginable, the truth is I never could really grasp the reality of actually leaving my homeland for another country until today.
After a short months of pondering, planning, and getting my nerves put together to make today works, only now I find myself giddy with excitements, fears, and anticipation. Looking back, pushing through from March until July, I had undergone many different events, incidents, and experiences which I think worth more than a lifetime.
Living a life after graduation is in no ways equal to the life before, these days all it takes to run my own life is myself; making decisions, executing it, and sticking to it. It could either go in two ways, whether I simply sit back and let fate runs its own course, or I take charge of my life and live my life to the fullest.
I choose the latter.
Oh, the price I have to pay. The sweats and strength I have to muster, the pain and scars I have to face, the fears I have to conquer. But if it means living my dreams and being with my loved ones - I may only say, come what may.
After a short months of pondering, planning, and getting my nerves put together to make today works, only now I find myself giddy with excitements, fears, and anticipation. Looking back, pushing through from March until July, I had undergone many different events, incidents, and experiences which I think worth more than a lifetime.
Living a life after graduation is in no ways equal to the life before, these days all it takes to run my own life is myself; making decisions, executing it, and sticking to it. It could either go in two ways, whether I simply sit back and let fate runs its own course, or I take charge of my life and live my life to the fullest.
I choose the latter.
Oh, the price I have to pay. The sweats and strength I have to muster, the pain and scars I have to face, the fears I have to conquer. But if it means living my dreams and being with my loved ones - I may only say, come what may.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Throwing stereotypes out the window
We quarrel, we agree; we are friendly, we are not friendly. But we have no right to dictate through irresponsible action or narrow-mindedness the future of our children and their children’s children. There has been enough destruction. Enough death. Enough waste. And it’s time that, together, we occupy a place beyond ourselves, our peoples, that is worthy of them under the sun, the descendants of the children of Abraham.
“You should watch A Mighty Heart, it’s a great film.” I prompted to a friend once as we were finishing our works in the lab. She didn’t look up from her notebook, but asked, “What’s it about?”.
So on and on I talked animatedly about the true account of the journalist Daniel Pearl who was kidnapped and killed by terrorists in Karachi, Pakistan.
Amidst my talking, my friend suddenly hopelessly exclaimed, “Oh, it’s always our fault isn’t it?!”.
I remember feeling so overwhelmed by her reaction. It felt like an instant rush of blazing blood ran up to my head, and being taken over by a feeling so powerful - anger, fury, and dismay - it caused me to feel as if I am capable of strangling my friend’s neck and make her done with it.
Thankfully, I didn’t. But I did throw a fit it made my friend recoiled with surprise. I wasn’t angry at her, it’s her reaction I’m frustrated with. Coming from a friend I’ve shared countless debates and dialogues with, her remark wasn’t something I had expected.
It’s simple thinking
We’re living on shaky grounds these days, aren’t we? As young adults, we are facing numerous grueling issues which needs our attention and principles to stand up for. Everywhere we turn, expectations and judgments are posed to us, sadly, with the ultimate pressure coming from our own crowds.
It is undoubtedly difficult trying to establish our own foundation and still hoping for security and approval at the same time. Sometimes it is easier for us to adopt simplistic approach towards certain issues. But as put aptly by writer Walter Lippmann, “when all think alike, no one thinks very well”, we simply skip the laborious thinking process and pick up someone else’s ideas on the road to shed some light to our problems.
The result is continuing cycle of blame and endless attacks to which we contribute no fruitful solutions but empty rants and grandiloquence.
Still, we wonder from day-to-day what a living hell the world is, without realizing we are one of the agents fueling it!
M. Scott Peck in his Road Less Traveled series describes few possible reasons for us to opt for simple thinking.
It could be due to our grave need to preserve our sense of self-identity, in the case where one has always to be right.
Those of us who tend to see ourselves always as a victim, simplistic thinking become an escapism from being responsible for our own choices.
Meanwhile, there are lots of us too who are simply incapable of thinking in perspective to account for the consequences of our actions.
All of the above considered, it’s blatant narcissism.
Carving our own path
What if we create the world of our own ideas and traditions?
What happens if for a second, we forget about stereotypes, labeling, and assumptions - and begin to look at the world in our own eyes. Unpolluted. Remember how we often see the twinkle in a baby’s eyes, and their unassuming smile?
Somehow going for our dreams becomes easier, once we disregard our worries about the judgments people passed to us. Somehow finding beauty in the world is effortless, because all those labels people branded on things no longer matters once it’s our own eyes, our own heart, our own comprehension, we are using to see.
I remember a secret a fox whispered to the Little Prince - ‘very simply; you can only see things clearly with your heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.’
Nevertheless, opening ourselves to the world requires dedication to readily accept (or rather, to deal with) truths.
It’s a rollercoaster journey to our understanding of the world.
Sometimes it contradicts us, it pulls us to the bottom pit of denial, it challenges us personally and forces us kneeling down to admit our mistakes and change our views. Sometimes it swells us with joy and inspiration, it proves to us our nudging conviction all along and finally allows us wings to fly our dreams.
No more instant excuses being thrown at problems we refuse to be a part of, no more scapegoating others for issues we know we are capable of contributing to, no more wallowing in self-pity and habits of falling victims to petty troubles we recognize are not worth our attention.
Looking at the world using our own eyes means learning to be ready to accept full responsibility for our existence on earth and be accounted for it.
The entry is inspired by Queen Rania’s project on YouTube, “Send Me Your Stereotypes”. Queen Rania recently launched her YouTube channel to invite dialogues between all citizens of the world to discuss about stereotypes on the Arab and Muslim world.
King Hussein of Jordan, 1998
“You should watch A Mighty Heart, it’s a great film.” I prompted to a friend once as we were finishing our works in the lab. She didn’t look up from her notebook, but asked, “What’s it about?”.
So on and on I talked animatedly about the true account of the journalist Daniel Pearl who was kidnapped and killed by terrorists in Karachi, Pakistan.
Amidst my talking, my friend suddenly hopelessly exclaimed, “Oh, it’s always our fault isn’t it?!”.
I remember feeling so overwhelmed by her reaction. It felt like an instant rush of blazing blood ran up to my head, and being taken over by a feeling so powerful - anger, fury, and dismay - it caused me to feel as if I am capable of strangling my friend’s neck and make her done with it.
Thankfully, I didn’t. But I did throw a fit it made my friend recoiled with surprise. I wasn’t angry at her, it’s her reaction I’m frustrated with. Coming from a friend I’ve shared countless debates and dialogues with, her remark wasn’t something I had expected.
It’s simple thinking
We’re living on shaky grounds these days, aren’t we? As young adults, we are facing numerous grueling issues which needs our attention and principles to stand up for. Everywhere we turn, expectations and judgments are posed to us, sadly, with the ultimate pressure coming from our own crowds.
It is undoubtedly difficult trying to establish our own foundation and still hoping for security and approval at the same time. Sometimes it is easier for us to adopt simplistic approach towards certain issues. But as put aptly by writer Walter Lippmann, “when all think alike, no one thinks very well”, we simply skip the laborious thinking process and pick up someone else’s ideas on the road to shed some light to our problems.
The result is continuing cycle of blame and endless attacks to which we contribute no fruitful solutions but empty rants and grandiloquence.
Still, we wonder from day-to-day what a living hell the world is, without realizing we are one of the agents fueling it!
M. Scott Peck in his Road Less Traveled series describes few possible reasons for us to opt for simple thinking.
It could be due to our grave need to preserve our sense of self-identity, in the case where one has always to be right.
Those of us who tend to see ourselves always as a victim, simplistic thinking become an escapism from being responsible for our own choices.
Meanwhile, there are lots of us too who are simply incapable of thinking in perspective to account for the consequences of our actions.
All of the above considered, it’s blatant narcissism.
Carving our own path
What if we create the world of our own ideas and traditions?
What happens if for a second, we forget about stereotypes, labeling, and assumptions - and begin to look at the world in our own eyes. Unpolluted. Remember how we often see the twinkle in a baby’s eyes, and their unassuming smile?
Somehow going for our dreams becomes easier, once we disregard our worries about the judgments people passed to us. Somehow finding beauty in the world is effortless, because all those labels people branded on things no longer matters once it’s our own eyes, our own heart, our own comprehension, we are using to see.
I remember a secret a fox whispered to the Little Prince - ‘very simply; you can only see things clearly with your heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.’
Nevertheless, opening ourselves to the world requires dedication to readily accept (or rather, to deal with) truths.
It’s a rollercoaster journey to our understanding of the world.
Sometimes it contradicts us, it pulls us to the bottom pit of denial, it challenges us personally and forces us kneeling down to admit our mistakes and change our views. Sometimes it swells us with joy and inspiration, it proves to us our nudging conviction all along and finally allows us wings to fly our dreams.
No more instant excuses being thrown at problems we refuse to be a part of, no more scapegoating others for issues we know we are capable of contributing to, no more wallowing in self-pity and habits of falling victims to petty troubles we recognize are not worth our attention.
Looking at the world using our own eyes means learning to be ready to accept full responsibility for our existence on earth and be accounted for it.
The entry is inspired by Queen Rania’s project on YouTube, “Send Me Your Stereotypes”. Queen Rania recently launched her YouTube channel to invite dialogues between all citizens of the world to discuss about stereotypes on the Arab and Muslim world.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Jane Austen Book Club
The Jane Austen Book Club
By Karen Joy Fowler
Penguin Books, 288 pages
If you’re the type who read books for the love of life and cherish the ambiguous humor and paradox the life has to offer; The Jane Austen Book Club is for you.
The story, as its title suggests, revolves around the celebrated six Jane Austen novels and how each stories are interconnected with the five women and a man of the Jane Austen Book Club members.
Set in Sacramento Valley, a university town in California, the book club was initiated by Jocelyn to act as a distraction for her close friend Sylvia, whose husband recently decamped for a relationship with another woman. An expert at getting people together (Sylvia’s husband Daniel was Jocelyn’s boyfriend in high school), Jocelyn considers herself as the “Jane Austen who wrote wonderful novels about love and courtship, but never married”.
Grigg, the only male member of the all-Jane-Austen-all-the-time book club, was initially invited by Jocelyn as another of her matchmaking attempt for Sylvia. Originally an avid fan of science fictions, Grigg on the other hand has a different idea on whom he would like to court.
The other three female members of the club are Allegra, Sylvia’s sensitive but gregarious gay daughter; Bernadette, a witty sixty-something veteran who has seen it all; and Prudie, a fragile high school French teacher who always seem to be seconds away to breaking down due to memories of her neglectful mother.
Playful and observant as Jane Austen herself, the lives of the members of the Jane Austen Book Club is narrated in parallel to the Austen six novels where the members take turn to host discussion of one novel in their house every month.
Six members, six months, and six Austen novels.
Instead of a novel with a plot, The Jane Austen book Club could be seen as the author’s fun attempt to explore character’s lives through the plots in Jane Austen novels. Quick-witted and funny at times, each character seems to have their own valid cultural observation on the world of Jane Austen in relation to their own. Sylvia for instance, in the event of her daughter accident, asks Jocelyn “Why should unhappiness be so much more powerful than happiness?”. She believes herself as the practical Jane Austen who was a daughter, a sister, and an aunt, without the happy ending.
I had read The Jane Austen Book Club way before I watched Pride and Prejudice and read Sense and Sensibility (the only Austen novel I had gotten over so far). Besides, I had read it even before I could grasp the power of being “an acute and nonpartisan observer of people” I didn’t remember whether I had enjoyed reading it or not. These days, as Jocelyn “who could have all kinds of hobby she wants because she is never married”, I read the Jane Austen Book Club again in conjunction with its newly released film and I find myself laughing out loud despite myself.
As put aptly by the producer of the film version of The Jane Austen Book Club, you don’t have to read Jane Austen to read the novel. Instead of a mere replication of Austen novels, Karen Joy Fowler managed to put the stories of the all-the-time-all-Jane-Austen book club members to stand on its own any Austen virgin could enjoy it.
If you love life and are capable of laughing at its apparent incongruity, that is.
By Karen Joy Fowler
Penguin Books, 288 pages
If you’re the type who read books for the love of life and cherish the ambiguous humor and paradox the life has to offer; The Jane Austen Book Club is for you.
The story, as its title suggests, revolves around the celebrated six Jane Austen novels and how each stories are interconnected with the five women and a man of the Jane Austen Book Club members.
Set in Sacramento Valley, a university town in California, the book club was initiated by Jocelyn to act as a distraction for her close friend Sylvia, whose husband recently decamped for a relationship with another woman. An expert at getting people together (Sylvia’s husband Daniel was Jocelyn’s boyfriend in high school), Jocelyn considers herself as the “Jane Austen who wrote wonderful novels about love and courtship, but never married”.
Grigg, the only male member of the all-Jane-Austen-all-the-time book club, was initially invited by Jocelyn as another of her matchmaking attempt for Sylvia. Originally an avid fan of science fictions, Grigg on the other hand has a different idea on whom he would like to court.
The other three female members of the club are Allegra, Sylvia’s sensitive but gregarious gay daughter; Bernadette, a witty sixty-something veteran who has seen it all; and Prudie, a fragile high school French teacher who always seem to be seconds away to breaking down due to memories of her neglectful mother.
Playful and observant as Jane Austen herself, the lives of the members of the Jane Austen Book Club is narrated in parallel to the Austen six novels where the members take turn to host discussion of one novel in their house every month.
Six members, six months, and six Austen novels.
Instead of a novel with a plot, The Jane Austen book Club could be seen as the author’s fun attempt to explore character’s lives through the plots in Jane Austen novels. Quick-witted and funny at times, each character seems to have their own valid cultural observation on the world of Jane Austen in relation to their own. Sylvia for instance, in the event of her daughter accident, asks Jocelyn “Why should unhappiness be so much more powerful than happiness?”. She believes herself as the practical Jane Austen who was a daughter, a sister, and an aunt, without the happy ending.
I had read The Jane Austen Book Club way before I watched Pride and Prejudice and read Sense and Sensibility (the only Austen novel I had gotten over so far). Besides, I had read it even before I could grasp the power of being “an acute and nonpartisan observer of people” I didn’t remember whether I had enjoyed reading it or not. These days, as Jocelyn “who could have all kinds of hobby she wants because she is never married”, I read the Jane Austen Book Club again in conjunction with its newly released film and I find myself laughing out loud despite myself.
As put aptly by the producer of the film version of The Jane Austen Book Club, you don’t have to read Jane Austen to read the novel. Instead of a mere replication of Austen novels, Karen Joy Fowler managed to put the stories of the all-the-time-all-Jane-Austen book club members to stand on its own any Austen virgin could enjoy it.
If you love life and are capable of laughing at its apparent incongruity, that is.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Sense and Sensibility: A girl's guide to friendship
It took me a week to finish Sense and Sensibility, my first Jane Austen’s novels.
Watching the 1995’s version of the book at the beginning wasn’t helping. Because Austen’s detailed description of her plots and lengthy dialogues sometimes drained my patience, and having known the ending to the story added the labor.
Nevertheless, Austen’s meticulous and sometimes ironic observation of her society kept me glued to the book through to the end. Although many who hasn’t read Austen would quickly assume her novels are about romance and the pursuit of marriage, which is correct in a sense. But in Sense and Sensibility, the plot is not as important as the picture depicted by Austen about the 1800s’ society’s manners. In a culture where single girls’ ultimate job is being pretty and getting married, Austen women shines through as witty and intellect persons.
Marriage and courtship aside, what struck me most with Sense and Sensibility is how the relationship between the female characters was portrayed. The dynamics behind relationships of each character posed an uncanny resemblance to my personal experiences and observations of today’s women.
Sense and Sensibility tells the story of Dashwood sisters, Marianne and Elinor, who are naturally opposites. Cautious Elinor believes in careful discretion with others, while Marianne is fiery, as she doesn’t believe in concealing her emotions.
After the demise of their father, the Dashwood sisters, together with their mother and another younger sister, Margaret, was forced to move out of their house in Norland Park since by inheritance, the house falls to their half-brother, John Dashwood, whose wife Fanny, is as cunning as her proud mother, Mrs. Ferrars. Through a brief encounter with Edward Ferrars, Fanny’s brother, Elinor was believed by her mother and sisters to have gained his affections.
The family moved to Barton Park by the kind offer of the Dashwood’s cousin, Sir John Middleton. At the Barton Park Marianne’s romance began with Willoughby, and Elinor was surprised with an engagement news of Lucy Steeles to Edward. The sisters rollercoaster pursuits of love took many surprising turns where in the end, cost Marianne her health.
Although the main plot was about Elinor and Marianne’s journeys towards marriage, Sense and Sensibility talks about the characters’ relationships with each other in depth and almost with similar weight. Given that almost 80 percent of the characters are women; five Dashwoods, two Steeles, a Middleton, a Jennings, a Ferrars, the story centres around the relationship amongst these women, and Austen description of her characters is so sharp we could share their passion and sometimes feel their cunning motives.
Frank vs. Prudent
Having received their education from independent readings, both Elinor and Marianne are individuals of their own opinions. Even Margaret their younger sister, adores Mrs. Jennings, Sir John’s mother-in-law, because she talks about things and not just the weather.
However, the manners which two sisters carry their opinions are different, as Marianne prefers to let her opinion heard and her feeling portrayed. For example, her acquaintance with Fanny and Lady Middleton, Sir John’s wife, was never tolerated because she couldn’t stand the rudeness and insipid selfishness on their part. On the other hand, Elinor, although having different ideas to her counterpart, she often act primarily to their interest. Like when Robert Ferrars, Edward’s brother was talking narcissistically about his plan and love of cottage, Elinor simply agreed to him because she doesn’t think he deserved the compliments of rational opposition.
Marianne’s approach could easily cost her company, because demonstrating disagreement with someone’s personality would discourage any friendly attempts on his or her side. But having Elinor’s prudence, on the other hand, means to tolerate bland conversations and company made for sheer reasons of flattery and insincerity.
In want of understanding
One of the reasons which makes Austen’s characters outstanding is it seems each one of the women is making friends with the other for their personal reasons. Perhaps it can be viewed as opportunistic, but I rather see because these women, in the company of each other’s comfort, need an understanding which validate their characters. For example, Lady Middleton, unlike her mother and husband, is a lady of elegance and very little words whose comfort seem to be found only in her children. She is uncomfortable around the Dashwoods, because she was ashamed of doing nothing before them. Though she was pleased with Fanny, as there was a kind of cold-hearted selfishness on both sides; which mutually attracted them.
Meanwhile, Lucy Steeles, to whom Elinor is her bane of existence for obtaining Edwards regards. She was henceforth determined to demonstrate their close engagement by insistently talking about it with Elinor, in agreeable manner, which in turn makes it difficult for Elinor to refuse or ignore.
Austen’s guide to friendships
As simple as it is, and as anybody in any field would recommend it - being confident with ourselves and having a life of our own is the only key to great friendship with our female counterparts.
Elinor and Marianne surpassed the superficiality of Lady Middleton or Lucy Steeles because both of the Dashwood sisters understand their own strength and weaknesses and respect each other for it. There was no attempt to conceal their opinions from each other simply for acceptance or in the act of kindness. Meanwhile, by being grateful with what we have and pursuing our dreams which make us whole, we’ll be making friends with people of similar goals who could offer us momentous inspirations. Instead of, God forbid, making friends with people whom we need approval from for the lack of our drive and dreams.
Perhaps it can be argued Elinor and Marianne is the best of friends because they are sisters. Not entirely true. Because I never had any sister, but I do have friends of the same credibility as both Elinor and Marianne, and all of which are as independent, strong and expressive.
It is true too, usually my closest friends are the one I am harshest to, while others to whom I didn’t offer my two cents, perhaps because I don’t think they deserved the compliments of rational opposition.
Watching the 1995’s version of the book at the beginning wasn’t helping. Because Austen’s detailed description of her plots and lengthy dialogues sometimes drained my patience, and having known the ending to the story added the labor.
Nevertheless, Austen’s meticulous and sometimes ironic observation of her society kept me glued to the book through to the end. Although many who hasn’t read Austen would quickly assume her novels are about romance and the pursuit of marriage, which is correct in a sense. But in Sense and Sensibility, the plot is not as important as the picture depicted by Austen about the 1800s’ society’s manners. In a culture where single girls’ ultimate job is being pretty and getting married, Austen women shines through as witty and intellect persons.
Marriage and courtship aside, what struck me most with Sense and Sensibility is how the relationship between the female characters was portrayed. The dynamics behind relationships of each character posed an uncanny resemblance to my personal experiences and observations of today’s women.
Sense and Sensibility tells the story of Dashwood sisters, Marianne and Elinor, who are naturally opposites. Cautious Elinor believes in careful discretion with others, while Marianne is fiery, as she doesn’t believe in concealing her emotions.
After the demise of their father, the Dashwood sisters, together with their mother and another younger sister, Margaret, was forced to move out of their house in Norland Park since by inheritance, the house falls to their half-brother, John Dashwood, whose wife Fanny, is as cunning as her proud mother, Mrs. Ferrars. Through a brief encounter with Edward Ferrars, Fanny’s brother, Elinor was believed by her mother and sisters to have gained his affections.
The family moved to Barton Park by the kind offer of the Dashwood’s cousin, Sir John Middleton. At the Barton Park Marianne’s romance began with Willoughby, and Elinor was surprised with an engagement news of Lucy Steeles to Edward. The sisters rollercoaster pursuits of love took many surprising turns where in the end, cost Marianne her health.
Although the main plot was about Elinor and Marianne’s journeys towards marriage, Sense and Sensibility talks about the characters’ relationships with each other in depth and almost with similar weight. Given that almost 80 percent of the characters are women; five Dashwoods, two Steeles, a Middleton, a Jennings, a Ferrars, the story centres around the relationship amongst these women, and Austen description of her characters is so sharp we could share their passion and sometimes feel their cunning motives.
Frank vs. Prudent
Having received their education from independent readings, both Elinor and Marianne are individuals of their own opinions. Even Margaret their younger sister, adores Mrs. Jennings, Sir John’s mother-in-law, because she talks about things and not just the weather.
However, the manners which two sisters carry their opinions are different, as Marianne prefers to let her opinion heard and her feeling portrayed. For example, her acquaintance with Fanny and Lady Middleton, Sir John’s wife, was never tolerated because she couldn’t stand the rudeness and insipid selfishness on their part. On the other hand, Elinor, although having different ideas to her counterpart, she often act primarily to their interest. Like when Robert Ferrars, Edward’s brother was talking narcissistically about his plan and love of cottage, Elinor simply agreed to him because she doesn’t think he deserved the compliments of rational opposition.
Marianne’s approach could easily cost her company, because demonstrating disagreement with someone’s personality would discourage any friendly attempts on his or her side. But having Elinor’s prudence, on the other hand, means to tolerate bland conversations and company made for sheer reasons of flattery and insincerity.
In want of understanding
One of the reasons which makes Austen’s characters outstanding is it seems each one of the women is making friends with the other for their personal reasons. Perhaps it can be viewed as opportunistic, but I rather see because these women, in the company of each other’s comfort, need an understanding which validate their characters. For example, Lady Middleton, unlike her mother and husband, is a lady of elegance and very little words whose comfort seem to be found only in her children. She is uncomfortable around the Dashwoods, because she was ashamed of doing nothing before them. Though she was pleased with Fanny, as there was a kind of cold-hearted selfishness on both sides; which mutually attracted them.
Meanwhile, Lucy Steeles, to whom Elinor is her bane of existence for obtaining Edwards regards. She was henceforth determined to demonstrate their close engagement by insistently talking about it with Elinor, in agreeable manner, which in turn makes it difficult for Elinor to refuse or ignore.
Austen’s guide to friendships
As simple as it is, and as anybody in any field would recommend it - being confident with ourselves and having a life of our own is the only key to great friendship with our female counterparts.
Elinor and Marianne surpassed the superficiality of Lady Middleton or Lucy Steeles because both of the Dashwood sisters understand their own strength and weaknesses and respect each other for it. There was no attempt to conceal their opinions from each other simply for acceptance or in the act of kindness. Meanwhile, by being grateful with what we have and pursuing our dreams which make us whole, we’ll be making friends with people of similar goals who could offer us momentous inspirations. Instead of, God forbid, making friends with people whom we need approval from for the lack of our drive and dreams.
Perhaps it can be argued Elinor and Marianne is the best of friends because they are sisters. Not entirely true. Because I never had any sister, but I do have friends of the same credibility as both Elinor and Marianne, and all of which are as independent, strong and expressive.
It is true too, usually my closest friends are the one I am harshest to, while others to whom I didn’t offer my two cents, perhaps because I don’t think they deserved the compliments of rational opposition.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Tudung: Beyond Face Value
Tudung (Hijab); Beyond Face Value
By Salinah Aliman
Bridges Books, 100 pages
I read once about the guy around the block, a term coined for a man encountered by a woman more than once in her life as a partner during a separate time in a different life.
As such, this book is therefore the book around the block for me.
The thought-provoking title of the book had caught my attention while I was in Dar-ul-Kutub (The House of Books), the university bookstore when I was a freshman. I had bought and read it with a sense of pride and entitlement of a lifelong hijabi. I hadn’t read it with the intention to learn, but simply to affirm and decidedly prove what I had already believed in.
Simply put, the book was taken for granted. Now the book sits silently, its spine fought itself to surface amongst other books covered in dust.
A couple of weeks ago, I received a gift from my blogger friend. As the gift arrived while I was in a rush to leave for official matters in Kuala Lumpur, I took the package with me partly hoping to open it somewhere on the road, only to bring it home yet untouched.
I opened the parcel excitedly the following morning, as the book cover made its way through the torned package, I felt my breath hung in the air. Ever wonder how it feels like to meet the ex-boyfriend on the street, only to fall in love again as if for the first time? Oh, you know the drill.
The coffee table book was published in Singapore, it features a calm and thoughtful reading on the issues centering tudung and those who dons it. A collection of articles presented are adorned with articulate and meaningful photography, and written by authors ranging from knowledgeable Imaam and religious scholars, to freelance writers and filmmakers, to women of different professions; doctors, software engineers, and proud mothers.
In the book, tudung is aptly introduced in the first chapter in relation to its status in Islam and how it is significant spiritually and socially. The inter-dependent relationship between faith and modesty was explained, hence putting hijab as one of the important benchmarks in Muslim women’s life.
Reading Tudung:Beyond Face Value again allows me to finally relate to and understand the experiences of being a tudung-clad woman as portrayed in the articles. Despite being a religious conduct, donning hijab in Malaysia (as in Singapore and other multiracial countries) can be a cultural practice, which is not at all wrong for it helps with nurturing the practice. But in the end, embracing the spiritual meaning tudung entails to its wearer is undoubtedly a personal choice and responsibility.
I particularly love the articles in the final chapters where female writers themselves conclude tudung is but another article of clothing taken out of deliberate choice. A woman’s true value and beauty is to be seen beyond her outward appearance. Ironic as it may seem, but it actually applies to every woman out there of all races and religions.
While a Muslim woman is not to be judged as being oppressed when she put her hijab on, she herself is ever more encouraged to look beyond religious and cultural differences to bridge mutual respect and compassion to everyone in the society.
Tudung:Beyond Face Value is a great source of reflection for everyone from all walks of life, its contents are especially befitting to a multiracial and diverse country like Singapore, Malaysia, and Indonesia. In fact, the term unity in diversity is portrayed accurately enough in the book where I think we Malaysian lots have a lot to learn from.
By Salinah Aliman
Bridges Books, 100 pages
I read once about the guy around the block, a term coined for a man encountered by a woman more than once in her life as a partner during a separate time in a different life.
As such, this book is therefore the book around the block for me.
The thought-provoking title of the book had caught my attention while I was in Dar-ul-Kutub (The House of Books), the university bookstore when I was a freshman. I had bought and read it with a sense of pride and entitlement of a lifelong hijabi. I hadn’t read it with the intention to learn, but simply to affirm and decidedly prove what I had already believed in.
Simply put, the book was taken for granted. Now the book sits silently, its spine fought itself to surface amongst other books covered in dust.
A couple of weeks ago, I received a gift from my blogger friend. As the gift arrived while I was in a rush to leave for official matters in Kuala Lumpur, I took the package with me partly hoping to open it somewhere on the road, only to bring it home yet untouched.
I opened the parcel excitedly the following morning, as the book cover made its way through the torned package, I felt my breath hung in the air. Ever wonder how it feels like to meet the ex-boyfriend on the street, only to fall in love again as if for the first time? Oh, you know the drill.
The coffee table book was published in Singapore, it features a calm and thoughtful reading on the issues centering tudung and those who dons it. A collection of articles presented are adorned with articulate and meaningful photography, and written by authors ranging from knowledgeable Imaam and religious scholars, to freelance writers and filmmakers, to women of different professions; doctors, software engineers, and proud mothers.
In the book, tudung is aptly introduced in the first chapter in relation to its status in Islam and how it is significant spiritually and socially. The inter-dependent relationship between faith and modesty was explained, hence putting hijab as one of the important benchmarks in Muslim women’s life.
Reading Tudung:Beyond Face Value again allows me to finally relate to and understand the experiences of being a tudung-clad woman as portrayed in the articles. Despite being a religious conduct, donning hijab in Malaysia (as in Singapore and other multiracial countries) can be a cultural practice, which is not at all wrong for it helps with nurturing the practice. But in the end, embracing the spiritual meaning tudung entails to its wearer is undoubtedly a personal choice and responsibility.
I particularly love the articles in the final chapters where female writers themselves conclude tudung is but another article of clothing taken out of deliberate choice. A woman’s true value and beauty is to be seen beyond her outward appearance. Ironic as it may seem, but it actually applies to every woman out there of all races and religions.
While a Muslim woman is not to be judged as being oppressed when she put her hijab on, she herself is ever more encouraged to look beyond religious and cultural differences to bridge mutual respect and compassion to everyone in the society.
Tudung:Beyond Face Value is a great source of reflection for everyone from all walks of life, its contents are especially befitting to a multiracial and diverse country like Singapore, Malaysia, and Indonesia. In fact, the term unity in diversity is portrayed accurately enough in the book where I think we Malaysian lots have a lot to learn from.
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