I'm turning 25 in a day or so.
And I am anxious to decide whether I should start looking seriously at how my life is going to shape over in the next 5, 10, or 25 years, or whether I should just live my life one day at a time, with no regard to the past or the future.
Sometimes I caught myself thinking; I'm not reading enough, I'm not writing enough, I'm not reflecting enough, I'm not seeing people enough, I'm not living my life enough.
But how much is enough?
And wasn't there a saying about life is what happens when we're busy making other plans?
I'm always the person with the plans. I have a career plans from 3 to 15 years. I have a list of things to do before I'm 30, things to do while I was in Australia, things to do for how much time I allowed myself to be in Malaysia. I have a list of characteristics in a man I would like to date. I even rate them on a scale of 1 to 10.
What if, for once, I want to stop thinking about what I want to do with my life;
And just live?
I've worked for almost a year now. And despite the fact most of the time I'm actually enjoying my work; reading and writing about the changes which have swept the way government and corporations operates with nature and environment, talking to people who needs help and assisting them in getting it - occasionally I would still feel like quitting.
I would look at other people and ask, how come they never seem to hate their job? How come they make it appear like they have the perfect job in the world? Don't they have demanding boss and inconsiderate superiors too? Don't they work weekends or at odd hours sometimes? When do they even have time to meet new people?
Oh my, wherever did I get the idea life has to be perfect? Whenever did I hammer into my head I can only be happy when everything in my life is fine and dandy?
I think I'm finally getting the idea about how beauty is skin deep, and happiness does come from within.
