Recently I realized how ICT (information and communication technology, FYI) had become something quite of a dread to me.
Although having only two email accounts, both of which I use way below its space limits, I have difficulties replying even to the halves of each. In addition, what with the non-repliable emails, notifications, and subscriptions I barely read. I still question the need to have any Friendster or Facebook accounts because I do not see any of my relationships improving because of it. Updating the profile is fun when I have nothing better to do, but I’ve always felt foolish afterwards - confused at what was I trying to show or prove. But I keep my accounts active anyway on account of keeping in touch with people I am afraid to lose contact with, despite our almost non-existent communication in real-life. I will not even write about passing virtual drinks or declaring someone to be my top friends - I mean, seriously?
The phone is my another source of damnation. Sometimes the way people could get into my life easily through instant messages get to me - a short cut to face-to-face, personal communication, which so many of us are happy to avoid. Forwarded messages coming in like advertorial, I was never certain how to respond to it I ended up not replying it. In fact, it has become my policy to reply only messages which are addressed personally to me, other types of message go straight to trash - after a week. There is also the missed-calling practice, which I never understood its imparted meaning. If the ringing doesn’t last to three, I usually ignore it. No, I do not use IMs to catch up on my distant cousins or long lost friends too. I would rather talk and call a visit. Although I was, at some point, hooked up to IM like it was my life line, blatantly pushing my keypad buttons in front of my clueless colleague or loved ones - leaving them talking to the empty void. After learning how rude and insensitive such practice was, I happily throw away my phone every time I am due to spend time with friends or family I had promised to.
So now, I am trying to manage my ICT tools with better efficiency. I scrolled through my contacts list, and realized 75% of it I no longer use (unsuccessful crushes included, shamefully), so I deleted all. I loathe the idea of creating a new email account, so I simply direct my subscription and notifications to one email account, and leave the other for friends and formal businesses. The former account might end up being opened once in a blue moon. As for my Friendster or Facebook account, I shall leave it as it is. My cowardice does not allow me to declare my fight against such social networks, I’m fighting a losing battle.
I am learning to use IM not as cover-ups for my intended insensitivities or reckless mistakes. The time I couldn’t spend with certain friends cannot be paid with a single SMS, the promises I’ve broken couldn’t be patched with a single SMS, and the amount of love and care I would like to shower to my family or friend will not be measured by how many love and kisses I send through IM - so does by my lack of sending it too. For now, I see IMs more as an aid for tangible things, not to satisfy my cloaked neuroticism or behaviour disorder, which I’ve learnt I could so easily get caught up in.
As for blogs, it is still addictive to check out other people’s blogs (aside of my own) every 2 hours. But given my current need to practice writing (I reduced the writing schedule to every 2 days, instead of having to finish the piece every night) - I keep my blog-hopping habit on radar, until the time dictates I put it completely on hold until midnight.
For those who feel afflicted with the same disease as me, for a start, I find a 10 + 2 x 5 tip provided by Merlin Mann of 43 Folders quite useful for day (mid-house chores) practice; set a timer of 10 minutes for a required task, allow 2 minutes for any side-cravings and repeat the process five times, we will get 50 productive minutes out of an hour work - which usually, obviously, is reversed.
