Friday, October 28, 2011

A different side of Jakarta

I am writing from the luxurious comfort of Jakarta Le Meridien's lobby. Outside, guards in uniform stand by the electronic scanner, greeting every guest who walks in with a generous smile.

By experience, I know every vehicle which comes in will suffer the same fate too. Policemen with their metal detectors will stop each and every one of them, asking to see every guest's face by insisting the driver to lower down all windows.

Inside, men in suits walk around with one hand in their pockets - looking at the same time important but carefree. As if they own the world. The clacking sounds of high heels distract me, a celebrity-looking woman walks past with her head held high, with men trailing behind her like ducklings following their hen mother.

I came to Jakarta with expectations, and none of them has been met so far.

Why is it, when we want to do something good, it has to be confined within the boundaries of existing systems or institutions?

For three days, eating inappropriately overpriced food, sitting around in an unnaturally regulated room temperature, we speak of how we want to try to save the world and change humanity. Granted, millions have been spent for lower income groups who is supposed to be our beneficiaries, plans for policies are underway to ensure more sustainable and equitable world.

But are we doing the right thing? Who are we actually benefiting? Who do we eventually leave feeling good, our beneficiaries or ourselves?


I know I'm supposed to be inspired, but at the end of it all, I think I'm left feeling more disenchanted than ever.

And Jakarta feels like a date gone wrong. I'll have to come back, next time.


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Indeterminate changes

A lot of things did not happened - my spelunking trip to Gua Tempurung was postponed to next month. I missed the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale which ran for fourteen days next door to my office. I put off visiting an ex-colleague and her newborn son for indeterminate days. After an enthusiastic beginning, my blog was left untended for nearly a month.

But a lot of things happened too - I went on day trip to Kota Tinggi to visit an uncle. Although I was never really quite one who is attached to family, visiting my elderly relatives brought a certain weight to my reality.

No man is an island, and life is always a legacy passed from one to another.

I had numerous sessions of much needed talk with my friends over the week, planned and unplanned. It's heartening to learn despite our sporadic encounters these days, our bonds continues to reinforce. Especially looking at my friend's kids, their hands holding on to us like they have known us all along, made me realise how there are always larger things at work in life. 

The wonders of life, the wonders in living - how we are all connected to one another, by blood, by experience, by memories.

In the meantime, work has taken hold of my life almost entirely.  But I am enjoying it. I meet new people every day, and they in turn enrich my experience, professionally and personally.

From time to time I keep thinking, even though at the beginning I wasn't certain what I'm supposed to do - I'm beginning to see what I'm doing now is what I'm meant to do, all along.

The end

After nearly ten years, ati-the-reader.blogspot.com is now concluding its final chapter. The blog has been a definitive part of my life, an...