Evolution of the faith(ful)

There is a growing presence at my door and I keep trying to ignore it. It's called Life.

With the passing of a New Year, which I welcomed with an equal mix of apprehension and ease, I can't help but feel a sense of trepidation that something big and monumental is to happen. I've been going through my days guarding closely what is dear and familiar, claiming solitude and exception from being among people.

Yet, I know from the deepest heart of my hearts this lurking presence, with its quiet smile and coaxing spirit, will never go away.

Marrianne Williamson says "it's our light not our darkness that most frightens us".

As I sit in the corner, trying to concentrate in my book, tending to my cats, running - in order to drown the niggling knock, knock, knock of my subconscious - I am beginning to realise this tug of war between light and darkness is going to be around more often going down the road.

From embracing fully the faith I was born into, to charting an entirely new path - the prospect is a frightening one.

Nevertheless, there are times in life holding on to what you believe in trumps conformity, and the choices you make could either make or break you.

This is one such thing for me.