"Hence: every moment of every day of this year, and every year that follows, what I want you to map is the uncharted shore of potential: the capacity of life to dream, wonder, imagine, create, build, transform, better, and love; the infusion of the art of living into the heart of every instant of existence."
- Umair Haque on How to Have a Year that Matters.
But as I was sitting in the hall, six thousand kilometres away from my home last month, next to my good friend, who flew all the way from the five degree Celsius country, witnessing our friend cementing her commitment to love in a ceremony neither of us could understand - I thought to myself;
This is your life - and what are you doing about it?
You see, none of this would have happened had we followed what Umair Haque termed as a smoking trainwreck of a so-called life. By this - I mean US. Our lives.
Had we devote ourselves to the mere conquests of wedding bands, MBAs and superkids - and not strive to extend beyond ourselves to explore the fullness of human possibility - that girl from the countryside of New South Wales would never imagine that one day she will find a girl in a hijab stepping into her hallway, quietly pronouncing I'm moving into this house.
This was eons ago. When my life had felt like it had been explosive.
Now it feels like it fizzles, all it's making is a hissing noise of drowning embers.
I am afraid of affirming my values and beliefs to stay true to who I really am. I am afraid I don't have what it takes to be amazing.
But what I'm afraid of the most is every day, every step I take will take me closer to my fear and further away from my dreams.
