Friday, March 4, 2011

Where I was

I was sitting in a cafe with a completely generic and superficial setting. There was no music, let alone beautiful books. A hyperactive boy was throwing rocks off the shop's decor onto the shopping tile floor like he was throwing pebbles into the water. His small face, mostly covered by his oversized glasses  was laden with wonder and joy.

In this rock-bottom universe of my favourite cafes, I was astounded to find a surprise evening delight.

I was running around my neighbourhood. Trying to feel my heart beat against my chest, trying to taste my salty sweat trickling down my face and flooding my eyes, nose and lips. The street so quiet its deafening silence creating a series of calming echoes inside my head.

Hushed morning like these are my sacred escape, moments I get to let my mind wanders free and unrestrained.

I was on a major recconnaisance for my next perfect abode, a place to call home and  people to live with to call a family. The state of my temporary settlements - from one bookshelf to another - sometimes give me an illusion of fresh starts, or clean exits.

I was finishing my reading of 127 Hours, my enrapturement with Aron Ralston's psyche and his passionate obsession with nature and exploring it is causing my slow progress with the book. My act of reading the book is one I usually witness when people are nibbling succulent chocolate or oyster, or sipping a good warm hot chocolate on rainy days. They savour it, they take it slow.

I was standing across a familiar friend, listening to his voice and smiling at his friendly jokes. In my head, my brain works faster than my heart - trying to make sense of his undeciphered demeanour. After a while, when silence makes an interval out of our long pause - I put my guard down and let his presence envelops my existence.

At every breath he draws in I was made aware of every fluttering molecules that he is - ordinary yet so out of place.

I was living, creating my own circumstances and unplanned adventures. I was trying to furnish my small life with my gigantic dreams. I was trying to live - really live - before I die.

No comments:

The end

After nearly ten years, ati-the-reader.blogspot.com is now concluding its final chapter. The blog has been a definitive part of my life, an...