Lavender's Blue, Dilly Dilly

Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender's green. When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be queen. The memory of her serene voices, repeating after the book reader I had bought for her birthday, never failed to make me smile despite myself. Her body swaying side to side, smiling widely each time she look up to see all of us watching her with pride.

How she had grown! From the doted and enthusiastic little girl we all showered our attention to, she became a devoted kak long to her baby sister, brimming with confidence of her status as the protective and commanding first grandchild in our family.

Like the most surprising gift, her arrival although expected, is nothing I ever imagined. Her tiny face, fingers and legs, at first seemed alien to me. I remember the first time seeing her cradled by her nyai, my mother, I asked myself - who is the little stranger? Only when I hold her later on, her bobbling head nestled comfortably at my neck, I felt awash with emotions. My mind overwhelmed at such wonderment, the little beautiful thing who shares a part of me in her.

And oh her little sister! If the older sister is a burst of emotions who the very existence of her seem to unblock in us all of those wells of repressed and unsaid affections, the little darling possesses such a calm disposition. She is shy and she is quiet, and she lets you know if you're in her favour through her generous affections, for she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeves.

I still remember when she ran to me when she woke up from sleep one day, wrapping her arms and legs around me tightly as if I am the one person in the world who makes her safe. These days, even as the older sister chattered away about what her nyai and tok ki, her ummi and abah are doing through the phone, I can see the little sister sitting quietly, watching rather admirably at the big vast world around her.

I don't remember wishing a sister when I grow up, and I'm not sure how it would change things if I have one. But looking at the two of them they look like the perfect pair, heaven-sent little angels to all of us in the family. It used to amaze me how they had invoked in me the ability to love freely, to look at the world with unsuspecting eyes - but now I see.

What is it in little children's heart which allow them to love so much and so generously? A heart as golden and soul as pure, untouched by what foolishness the adults are putting up on the world.