Someday I'll feel like I'm nothing but one little dot on earth, insignificant and too small to see. Someday I'll feel like I'm going to be crushed by fear and devastation and disappointment, the feelings so strong I dissolve into nothingness and disappear. Someday I'll feel like I'm drowning in stormy seas, dark, quiet, and lonely.
Someday, when I feel all these, I'll remember;
I've walked through the magnificent Petra of Jordan when I was eleven, and I saw a part of me dancing in circles, shaking hands with the ancient ruins and elders. I've loved a cat for ten years and I slept by her side until the day she floated away to the sky, and I know in every cat's eyes now they always see in me her fire, their long lost friend. I've walked on Taman Negara Pahang's (Pahang National Park) canopy walk, and I saw an empire of green grass, blue sky, and white rivers unfolded before my eyes like the Kingdom of Terabithia. I've made friends with a sun bear, I've seen a free deer solemnly walked in the dark, I've hugged a palm civet, I've waved to the majestic hornbills. I've taken a 5-hour road trip and I sat on nothing but the bus floor, and I've never felt so free and alive. I've roamed my country with my friends by my side, laughing with them on the lake house where there was no light at night - only us, the sprawling black lake, and smiling stars on the sky. I've ridden along the Bendelong coast, and I've fallen free down the slope seeing nothing but beauty, magic, and a world full of possibilities. I've taken the solero shot and screamed and laughed by my brother's side, and I talked and talked and talked to him like nothing is going to change in our world. I've fallen in love, and I've felt like the luckiest girl alive.
If I ever wonder why the world feels as if it's going to crush on me, I'll remember the world has lifted me up too, soared me to the sky, and danced to my delight.
I'll remember all these, every time I'm beginning to forget.
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