Unencumbered, I used to cherish and hold on to the word with my dear life.
I had found the word in Tony Parson's The Family Way, which tells a story of 3 sisters growing up and grappling with their respective crises of motherhood and domestic life. The story of Cat, Jessica and Megan had appealed to me then because it shows the irregularities and flawed ideals of an adult's life.
Since then, I remember wishing to lead a life without the cumbersome dependence of others. I remember making a vow to myself, I would never let anyone made me wash their plates again simply because I am a girl. To me, a domestic life is equivalent to a life of subservience - an utter nightmare for an obsessive compulsive control freak like me.
So imagine my alarm, after years of worshipping such fancy-free word (and its projected world - if it ever exists), I realised last night I actually find much comfort in cooking, in the luxury of my domestic life and in providing for others!
Maybe growing up has something to do with it. I realised now the older I get, the smaller and the more riddled the divide between my black and white world, between my perception of good and bad. There is no clear-cut ways to life - you make (or create) choices, you get lucky or you screw up, and you repeat the process again; erasing where you can, improvising while you're still around.
Domestic life or not, if any of us find joy in cooking or taking a long ride on our motorbike or splashing around in the ocean or just staying put in front the fire reading our favourite novel listening to Sinatra - then who (or what) are we to say anything, really?
2 comments:
Ha, found you! ^^
Seeing as your wordpress link was pretty much dead on my blog sidebar, I figured you gotta be somewhere else in cyberspace..
Domestic life, eh? Glad you like it.. :) You know, when we're young, we think of all these bombastic ideals, and we're so proud to be upholding them. We see ourselves as different; somehow special.. ;p
Imagine my surprise when, after treading so far in my 'new-found' beliefs, I found myself walking the exact path of my parents.. (-_-)
I'm beginning to think that life is a distinct journey. While individually it may look like we're making our own history, in the larger scheme of things, we're just repeating the endless cycle:
To grow~ and once grown, to be independent~ once independent, to feel wanted~ once wanted, to feel cherished~ once cherished, to be honored~ and once honored and gone, to be remembered..
But, that shouldn't stop us from making the best of it, no? fighting! ^^
Hihi, Kak Sofie, I'm guilty as charged!
It's all about balance isn't it? To stay as an individual while trying to maintain respect with everyone around us, to continue to dream while trying to react everyday in consciousness to the reality of life.
Everyday is a struggle, and everyday is a revolution - and here's the thing I learned; it doesn't have to be a difficult or hard thing at all. You can still be fighting and actually be happy about it!
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