The pain never really goes away. They are less defined now, but when they come they grip her strong like a drowning body.
Like yesterday, when she was doing the dishes, she was struck by lightning memories of him; him standing in the kitchen, him speaking on the phone while she was putting away the groceries she just bought, him teasing her about the craziness of her work.
They are only sliver of memories, but their sudden outburst in her mind - like fireworks, when she is already on the verge of forgetting him, the verge of moving on from the endless thought of him during the day and the sight of him in her dreams at night - made her kneel down on the floor, right there in the kitchen, to catch her breath and her sudden dizziness.
She wish she could end it all by ending herself.
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